(630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
(815): Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
(281): I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it… seriously
(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
(678): did u really fuck my little sister???
(706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with “mess”
(330): I don’t know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
(919): Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
(386): you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
(905): so I was like “you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements.” best. pick up line. ever.
(360): I will see naked twins by the end of the night. that’s all I know